Blog Break

I'll be on vacation all of this week, fine readers, so look for more postings in about eight or nine days. I have not deserted you. I'll leave you with something I saw on a T-shirt recently. I was walking behind this guy at an airport and on his T-shirt he had a photo of four men, also wearing T-shirts, with their backs to the camera. They were standing in a row in a necessary room, if you get my drift. The caption on the back of all four of the men's shirts said TEXAS HOLD 'EM.

John 3:16 All Over the Place

I tellya, being sick and laid up with a bad foot can sure put a crimp in the blog writing style. However, I did share a story with my congregation today in worship about John 3:16. It seems that everyone, follower of Jesus or not, has been exposed to John 3:16. That's the Bible verse that says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." The words "John 3:16" have appeared on more banners, billboards, and bumper stickers than I can count. Students in Vacation Bible School and various Christian schools memorize that verse with great regularity. The verse appears almost as often as "My Child is an Honor Student at the Genius Gates of Greatness Center." I have not yet seen a parody of John 3:16. Possibly people are too reverent to come up with one, or else they haven't gotten that creative yet. I have, however, seen a parody of "My Child Is an Honor Student at the Genius Gates of Greatness Center." That bumper sticker reads, "Your child may be an honor student at Genius Gates of Greatness, but your driving stinks."

A Character Meeting a Priestly Character

I had lunch today with John and Joyce Lester. John is in his nineties and Joyce is in her late eighties, and they are as energetic as I am. I want to know where their hidden fountain of youth is located. The Lesters went out of town recently to an Episcopal church where John knows the priest well. It was their wedding anniversary, and somehow the priest found out. He was big on recognition of such special days, so he called them forward and told the congregation that it was the Lesters' anniversary. Then he asked them, "Is there something special you would like for your anniversary?" Joyce, being the outspoken woman she is, declared, "I've always wanted to kiss a priest." The congregation cracked up. The priest wasn't in the least fazed. He pointed to his cheek. "Plant one here Joyce!" he shouted. And she did. That congregation will never forget those two.

Casablanca

There is a classic movie called Casablanca but this is a different version. At a meeting of pastors and other citizens of the town yesterday, they were talking about "Casablanca", a certain local neighborhood. I had not heard of it so I asked where it was and what was special about it. I found out that on one side of Smalltown there is a section where the streets running north and south are named after presidents (Washington, Lincoln) and the streets running east and west are named after states (Iowa, Kansas). This area has been nicknamed Casablanca which of course means "White House." It is well known for various kinds of business deals, many involving the sale of tablets or a certain kind of "grass" or "weed" that animals do not usually eat. I learn something new every day here.

Creative Practical Prank

April is getting near along with April Fools Day. John Barge told me that he has thought of a new trick to play on his wife Sue. He says it's mild compared to last year, when his victim was his middle-aged cousin Will. Will had just bought a pickup truck. He had not picked it up yet. John had a friend call Will and say, "Hi, I'm with the Sea City Police Department. Do you have a truck with a license plate AGX 454?" Will said yes. The man said gently, "We just dredged it up out of the town lake." Will went into panic mode. He says he will pay John back, but so far he has not done so. I am sure it will happen. He told John, "When you least expect it, expect it."

John knows Sue and all her habits, of course, because they have been married almost forty years. He knows that Sue is not a morning person. She gets up on autopilot and goes out to grab the newspaper. She then reads it cover to cover, still on autopilot and half asleep. So John is going to get up earlier than Sue, steal their Sea City newspaper, and put an old one in its place out of the prodigious piles of old papers in the garage. He bets she will get up, pick up the paper, and read it all the way through without looking at the date on top. The only thing that might give the game away is if she sees any ads for "Warm Winter Sweaters" in a Christmas sale, or reads about politicians that have not been in office for years.

School Board Standoffs

I have heard that whatever anxiety a town has, it tends to focus on its education system. Maybe that's true. Education and children represent the future, and Smalltown has one or two concerns about its future, to put it mildly.

Anyway, the school board volcano erupted this week. An editorial ran in the Smalltown Sentinel saying that board members always proclaim, "It's all about the children." The author opined that the activities of the school board have little or nothing to do with what the students care about. He sarcastically stated that the children being discussed are not in the schools, but on the school board. He fully expected the Texas Education Agency to bench the whole team. Recently the school superintendent was suspended with pay for two weeks, according to the same newspaper. I do not recall anywhere I have lived where the school board was so acrimonious. It makes me wonder what Jesus would do if he were on the school board or living in Smalltown. ""Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you," he said. Can I be an agent of peace here? Can others? Or will we continue to see our school board tattle on each other and throw spitballs?