Still Saying the Darndest Things

Art Linkletter made the famous observation that kids say the darndest things. They do. They may be naive, but they are not dumb. Spending time with brother Vince, we reminded each other of what we used to say years ago. When my grandmother was about to make a visit from Indiana to our home in Ohio, we always stocked up on Budweiser and peanut butter, which she enjoyed. My father bought extra as he always stored some of it in the basement. As he was carrying the extra sixpacks down the cellar stairs, my six-year-old brother piped up, "Beer, beer, beer everywhere. GRANDMOTHER'S COMING!"

Vince's remarks, off-the-wall though they were, could not compare to what my clergy friend Christine blurted in public at five years old. Christine was a PK (Preacher's Kid) and her father was pastor of the small Memorial United Methodist Church in Serene City. The church's tradition was to give the pastor and his family a Christmas gift in the church sanctuary during worship time on the Sunday before Christmas. This particular year, the chair of the board came up near the altar with a large box and beamed, "I hear that this is something you really need." Teresa whispered loudly, "What is it, Dad? New underwear?"

Kids haven't changed much. Lola Flushpoole's four-year-old granddaughter recently drew pictures on her bedroom wall with bright crayons. Her mother snapped furiously, "Colleen, don't you know how angry I get when you do that?" The girl nodded. "I know, Mom. I'm praying for you." This is the same kid who prayed about her sister by saying, "Lord, please don't let Sydney cry when I hit her."