Dirty Trick Possibility

Billy-John was puttering outside the church, trimming and edging the lawn with his friend John Barge as I drove by today on my way to a pastoral visit. I stopped off briefly to chat. I asked Billy-John teasingly if he was still feeling good enough to franchise himself. He said he wasn't feeling good enough to franchise himself today, but might be persuaded to sell himself. I let that one go.

John Barge is a retired journalist and another active church member. He's a tall, muscular bald guy that nobody would mess with, but he's just a big teddy bear inside. "I thought of something that would stir things up a little," he informed me. John is a recovering alcoholic with a wild sense of humor and I was a little concerned about his brand of stirring things up. Against my better judgment I asked him, "What are you planning?" "Nothing much," he grinned. "But I'm considering starting a rumor. It goes like this. I'm going to tell the guys at their morning coffee at Whataburger that it's possible to tell when someone's watching porn--by the direction their satellite dish is pointing."

I tried to stifle a giggle with a concerned pastoral expression. Didn't work.