Pie-Throwing Potential

One place where I would like to see pie-throwing is after a new pastor's Probationary Period. Probationary Period in my denomination is how neophytes earn their initiation (or not) into the hallowed circle of fully ordained pastors. During this time of testing, the new pastors, called probationers, work in churches on a trial basis under supervision. For a three-year period, they have to go on twenty-four hour retreats every other month with the Probationary Perceptive Panel (PPP) for continuous observation and assessment. The PPP are the pastors who serve as evaluators and gatekeepers. After the three years are over, the PPP decides who gets accepted and who doesn't. The dread of being rejected after three years of work is huge. I got through my Probationary Period just fine, thanks to all that drinking. How else to manage the stress?

After getting ordained, the no-longer-neophytes probably have a grudge or two against at least one of the PPP authority figures who loomed large in their lives for so long. Just after ordination, the ex-probationer should be encouraged to throw a pie at the PPP member of their choice. It would be cathartic. It would also help to equalize the relationship, making it more collegial. Furthermore, if one particular member of the PPP was the chosen target of an unduly large number of pies, the PPP might decide to re-evaluate that person's place on the committee. The pie-throwing would provide a crude but effective visual of exactly who it was the newbies didn't like.

Thoughts like this keep me from making any real progress in life.