Throwing Shoes, Pies, and Fits

Ever since that Iraqi reporter threw his shoes at President Bush, I have been pondering the possibilities of throwing things. The shoe-throwing turned out to be good for that shoemaker's business. Suddenly orders are pouring in for similar shoes. Possibly what people will most remember about this presidency will be a flying shoe.

We threw things at HiTekk in Central City when I worked there, but not shoes. HiTekk sales representatives were notorious for throwing balls around. One Saturday morning a young man threw a ball into the air and accidentally hit the sprinkler system, releasing enough water to ruin $300,000 worth of computers and copiers. He was, as the HiTekk euphemism puts it, "freed to pursue other opportunities."

At HiTekk we also threw pies on certain occasions. If a team met its sales goal for the month, team members were sometimes allowed to throw a pie at their manager. This was wildly popular. It would never work in the church. Pie-throwing only works at masculine-oriented organizations. HiTekk is so masculine, when you walk in the door you can smell the steroids. It is tough, muscular, sports-minded, and competition-driven. And that's just the women.

Vive la difference. My church is a world away from that. HiTekk runs on testosterone, while the church runs on estrogen. This is true even though there are both men and women in each place. I contemplated what it would be like if a given Region paid all its benevolences before all the other Regions did, and someone was allowed to throw a pie at the Regional Poobah. It wouldn't work. Some of the RP's are so popular that whoever was getting ready to throw the pie would put it down. Through tears, he or she would say, "I can't do this. I like you too much!"