Flippin' Freeloaders

After church today I had lunch at Crankey's Catfish, one of the hottest lunch joints in the area. It is just outside Smalltown. John and Sue Barge were there along with Bob and Sandra Morrison, Ronald Jimenez, and Stan and Esther Essofigus. Over fried catfish, the conversation turned to that small minority of people who like to mooch off other people. Everyone had a story about that.

Sandra Morrison spoke of the time she got a wedding invitation in a large envelope. When she opened it, out fell an insert labeled "Great Places to Get Gifts." Six or seven expensive department stores were suggested. John and Sue Barge said that a couple they knew in the community invited them to their mother's 80th birthday party. "Come on down," they offered. "It's at the VFW. There is a seven dollar cover charge."

Esther and Stan told of a preacher who had once lived and worked in Smalltown. He was not married, and made a point of going to every funeral in the area whether he knew the deceased or not. He liked all that free food. He even took plates home with him. I offered my own story of my Uncle Griffey and Aunt Bert. They were heavily involved with "carriage racing," a type of horse racing popular in Southern Indiana. After the races were over and the horses were back in their trailers, Griffey and Bert and all of their friends would gather for a giant potluck picnic. Everyone brought a dish, and often friends of friends would come eat. After one of these potlucks, Griffey and Bert discovered that a couple had been there who did not know anyone. They just came, ate, and left. Afterwards Griffey and Bert and everyone else were saying, "But I thought they were your friends!"

My sister Lisa went through a freeloading stage as a child. Lisa, aged six, had a serious sweet tooth and loved the English teas we had while living there. So any time someone stopped by to visit with my mother in the morning, Lisa would pipe up, "Come 'round for a cup of tea this afternoon." Whoever it was, they usually said, "I'd love to!" leaving my mother no option but to prepare and serve an English tea of scones, cookies and cake to whoever had come over. Sometimes it was someone my mother couldn't stand. She was looking forward to the lady being gone and lo and behold, suddenly she was coming back that same day for tea. She was all the more likely to return if she was unpopular for a reason and rarely got asked anywhere. So Lisa got to eat cookies and cake, all the while being complimented for extending such a kind invitation.