Desert Water Studies

Today while walking on the beach I let my mind wander. I wondered what it would be like if the Mafia in Las Vegas, wanting to do community relations and look respectable, founded a college in the desert near the city. Noticing a lack of such facilities nearby, they would decide to call it the Institute of Marine Science. They would reason that a great deal of instruction is done via computer anyway, so they could hook up all their students to the Internet and show them pictures of fish.

Probably the media would sneer and jeer at anyone being so stupid. But maybe young people would not see it that way. All those Nevada high school graduates who had always dreamed of studying marine science, but thought their location disqualified them, suddenly would be able to follow their bliss. Plus they would be able to IM their friends, "I'm studying marine science in the middle of the Nevada desert. How cool is that?"

Midway through their sophomore year, the students would get a little testy about the lack of real-life experience. But the Mafia, being awash in cash from all the casino revenues, would quickly buy a Lear jet to transport the kids to the California coast for a total immersion experience with marine life. They would institute Junior Year Aboard instead of Junior Year Abroad, giving a year of college credit for courses taken on a swanky cruise ship with premier dolphin, whale, and shark observation stations.

To make student life in the desert more exciting, the Mafia would field a college football team. Their green and blue uniforms would be relaxing enough to slow down the opposing team's reflexes, and the fightin' Marine Science Manatees would win almost all their games. This would cause perks to rain down on them, with grateful donors ponying up for scholarship money and various other bonuses banned by the NCAA.

Thoughts like this keep me from fulfilling my maximum potential.